Burned by Beauty: When Venus Met Saturn
Venus Conjunct Saturn: The End of a Relationship
One of the signatures of Venus conjunct Saturn can be the ending of a relationship, often to clear the slate for something new. Saturn tests, and if the relationship is solid, it can become even more committed and formalized. Saturn tests, and if the relationship is weak, based on appearances, or lacking in essential integrity, the relationship may end.
Saturnian endings are laced with hard learnings, often with ethical underpinnings. Saturn wants right action, for us to be our best selves. It behooves one to process and absorb these learnings. If you don’t, the lesson will come again, harder.
I had a Saturn/Venus lesson recently. It came to me when Saturn was almost exactly conjoined with Venus (see chart above). Here it is.
I contacted my hair stylist (“Letitia”) to confirm our appointment, discovered that her salon flooded. Due to an imminent business trip, I made an appointment with another stylist.
The new stylist (“Brandie”) started on the color – full highlights – and paused to confirm my desire for a full highlight. Of course, I wanted a full highlight, I told her, since it’s what I always get. Actually, she responded, it doesn’t seem that you have ever gotten a full highlight – at least not in a very long time. Your hair in back is your natural color. It has not been touched.
I didn’t believe her.
She grabbed the hand mirror, twirled me around, and showed me. There it was - a waterfall of virgin hair.
As I sat in the new chair, I thought of all the times Letitia had touched my hair. For me, allowing a person to touch my hair is an act of trust. I don’t love being touched; boundaries matter to me. Letitia spent hours with my hair, telling me about her life, her family, her goals. I felt like I knew her. She was part of my home-team, my beauty squad.
The idea that she overcharged me repeatedly took time to process.
Was this possible? Yes. The evidence, that thick fistful of brown hair, testified.
Brandie asked me how long the foils took for my “full highlight.”
I was always in and out within two and a half hours. Highlight, cut, and style.
Impossible, she answered. A full foil for your hair would take at least two hours. Then she turned the knife: Honestly, I didn’t want to say anything because I can tell that you are upset, but it looks like she used about ten foils in a section where I would use close to fifty.
Huh? Not only was I overcharged, but the service I did get was skimped?
I wondered why. The answer came to me quickly – she did it for her family.
The situation coalesced: Letitia has three kids and a granddaughter she is raising. She has five dogs. She overcharges here and there; she skimps on foils; she gets clients in-and-out. This is part of her economizing. Her family’s needs come first.
You have to do what you have to do. I’ve heard her say that phrase many times. In her mind, these small grifts weren’t ethical quandaries but fiscal necessities.
I imagined how I must appear to her – an educated middle-class woman with no kids, no pets, and a double income. Someone she sees a few times a year. She may be on my squad, but I am not on hers.
Why didn’t I realize this before? I assumed a personal relationship where a personal relationship didn’t exist. We have is a transactional relationship. I pay for a service, and she provides the service. These are the ground rules.
When Saturn met Venus, I got an upsetting and surprising shocking truth bomb (Uranus on the Ascendant) that hurt and awakened me. Betrayal by anybody stings. Betrayal by a woman who shared her life stories with me, hugged me, and held space for me when life smacked me down hurt. A shamed bird settled behind my ribcage. I sat in the new chair, weeping.
Let’s call her right now, Brandie encouraged. I want to hear how she answers to this!
No, I had zero desire to shame Letitia. I wanted to learn from this experience and move on with dignity. I am acquainted with Saturn’s tools and methods because I am Saturn’s daughter.
The learnings for me are many:
· hold people accountable for their services
· get the full value of what I pay for
· advocate for myself
· respect my money, resources, and time
These may seem basic, but they are indeed my lessons.
The astrology of the chart of the reveal clearly shows these themes: Uranus on the Ascendant bringing a shocking awakening that changes everything: I will never speak or see Letitia again.
The Sun in the 10th bringing the “truth to light.”
The waning Moon, significator of the third house of messages, in a broad conjunction to my significator, Venus.
Is there a bright side? The slate has been cleared for a new relationship with a new woman. And my hair looks fabulous.